Jesus is Lord Over My Love Life (Updated)

The Bible says that to enter into a relationship with Jesus, we must acknowledge Him as both Lord and Savior. Savior means He loves us and saves us from our sins. Lord means He deserves our obedience and submission.

The Savior part is easier to accept. “He wants me to go to Heaven? Sure!” The Lord aspect of it is tougher. We all have things that are difficult to accept or obey from the Bible. But believing in Christ as Lord means we know He is wiser than us and knows better than us, so we obey.

My hardest experience of this (so far) was with my love life.

It happened in March 2008. I was in the U.S. studying in the Every Nation School of Campus Ministry. The plan was for me to go back to Manila and make our own version of it there.

I was sent with Ryan Tan, our youth pastor in Victory U-Belt

I was sent with Ryan Tan, our youth pastor in Victory U-Belt

But while my head was in the books and assignments of the school, I kept thinking back to this woman I had fallen in love with. She was beautiful, engaging, and very strong in her faith. Almost every day, I stayed up late after studying to catch her online and chat.

But there were people very close to me who judged her, who said that she was a bad person and probably not suitable for me. It made me angry to hear that and there were many heated conversations and angry thoughts I had about them. I couldn’t believe that they would be so unchristian.

I knew in my head that I was right and they were wrong.  I was determined to pursue her anyway and prove that they were the ones who were mistaken. I canvased a lot of different opinions all of whom agreed with me.

not this dramatic, but you get the idea

not this dramatic, but you get the idea

With this in mind, as I prepared for the end of class and my return to Manila, I had two projects – starting the School of Campus Ministry and pursuing this woman to marriage.

But while I got other people’s opinions, God was about to still give His.

On the second to the last day of class, we had visiting prophets come and give us prophetic words. Besides other things, this man who had no idea what I had been wrestling with the past few months said, “In light of the world and what God’s doing, I see God giving you the grace for a season of celibacy.” Meaning – STAY SINGLE for a season.

I was shocked. How did he know what I needed to hear? Well, that must have been God.

Then I was angry. That’s so unfair! Now those people will think they were right! And why couldn’t I pursue this godly, beautiful woman? What did he mean, “In light of the world?” Couldn’t I pursue a girl while pursuing God’s plan for my life? And if I don’t pursue her, what if another guy cuts in ahead of me???

But even as I reasoned in my head, I knew this was from God. It wasn’t because someone said something and called it a prophecy. It was because I knew that what he said confirmed something that the Holy Spirit was telling me personally.

I couldn’t ignore it, and I had to obey.

I stopped texting, calling, chatting, and tweeting her. I almost stopped tweeting and blogging altogether.

I got back to Manila and threw myself into our work. I’d be at the office 12-14 hours a day. It was better that way, so when I got home I’d just sleep instead of thinking about her and what she might possibly be doing and who she was with.I knew there were  jerks guys who were interested in her also, so it was easier to just turn it off completely than to be consumed by jealousy.

I didn’t even want to go out with other friends because I wanted to be with her only. (Yeah, I was pretty emo.)

Actual picture from those days. When you cover your face with a pillow, they can't see you cry.

Actual picture from those days. When you cover your face with a pillow, they can’t see you cry.

But those months of intense focus allowed our School of Campus Ministry to start very well. It produced some of our key campus missionaries today. And it was the experience of running that school that prepared me for my national role in our campus ministry now. I know it wouldn’t have been as good if I tried to do that while dating this woman. As painful as it was to admit it, that prophetic word was right.

Months later, I got another statement that confirmed to me that it was time to go for her. You can be sure, I didn’t delay or disobey that! She and I started dating and 18 months later we were married. 🙂

Three things I think about now when I remember that season:

1. God’s word is more important than anyone’s opinion. I felt I was right. Others felt they were right. But at the end of the day, I know very little. God knows everything. His judgment and wisdom are always perfect.

2. Jesus’ Lordship will always contradict something in me. Some commandments are easy to follow. Others ask for so much from me. But true submission and faith in Him means He gets His way. As the saying goes, “He’s either Lord of all or not at all.”

3. You will never regret submitting to His Lordship. As I made the decision everyday to obey Jesus in my love life, I knew I was potentially sacrificing a lot. But I could not have predicted that the outcome would be so much better than even my own plans for myself. Jesus is the only Lord worth following.

 

***Our church is doing a series on our Core Values. Lordship is one of them. Check out these other interesting Lordship blogs.

UPDATE: More Great Blogs!

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2 Comments

  • Reply LORDSHIP IS… - PAOLOPUNZALAN.COM July 7, 2014 at 11:55 am

    […] Jesus is Lord Over My Lovelife by Joseph Bonifacio […]

  • Reply Do Campus Ministry | Lordship Stories May 31, 2015 at 1:34 am

    […] The time I had to delay pursuing this woman I loved. I was ready to marry her, but just knew the timing wasn’t right. In the end, the delay proved to be immeasurably beneficial to my role in ministry. And God kept her for me, so that when I was ready to pursue her she was still available! And now she’s my wife. (Read more about this on his blog ‘Jesus is Lord over my love life‘) […]

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